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By the way, good luck, and if that does happen and you need the brother to make a guest appearance, I'm more than happy to help.
We're good friends, but we hate each other. Last year, Kevin made the cut and I didn't. My show is over. Kevin's got a really big movie coming out. What else do I [got]?
I love hitting into the rough because it gets me close to the people.
I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.
We couldn't land right away there was a dog on the runway,
It is our swan song, and (winning) kind of symbolizes the closure at the end, and I miss it already. I'm gonna go bawl now.
I'm now unemployed. It's a weird feeling with no work, but at least there's still golf. Standup comedy is like my core, it's what I do. But I want to be a pro golfer. It's a love/hate relationship with golf. I can come away feeling so serene, and yet, it's the thing that I can let get to me to throw a club and say curses that don't even exist. I'm obsessed with something that won't let me master it. I don't know ... I need therapy.
I feel very privileged that I am able to do something. All of us saw the images on TV and we said we can send money but we still wanted to contribute more.
I love standup and I haven't given it up.
If you ever want to go golfing, take Brad with you. He will make you look better, ... He came in dead last. There were 75 celebrities and pro athletes and he came in dead last.
It was a shock to win, ... Even you guys - admit it - you thought 'Desperate Housewives' was going to win.
I've always wondered, what am I going to do that's important with these stupid jokes that I tell,
He missed a shot and got frustrated and accidentally hit himself on the head with his own putter and needed stitches on the course. It was hysterical, ... He continued playing. He didn't get hurt. It wasn't serious.
If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.
Yeah, 'cause we don't like 'em!
I don't know if I will do that, ... I love stand-up and I haven't given it up.
We see another chapter in his life, you know, not to give it away. But he goes to another place. And, of course, there's a lot of adventure and craziness.
My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
We want to recognize that it is the end of the show without really saying it. But we'll satisfy the audience's desire for a little heart.
We could send our money but we still feel we could contribute more.
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